So he's in the car........

September 12, 2012
I say good bye to all of the wonderful ladies at Paws in Prison and we walk away from his home of the last six months.  The ladies had given me a care package before I left.  His favorite toys, a couple of small blankets, that each of his trainers had slept with for the last week, so he would have their smell in his new crate/bed.  They had also sent his "special occasion ball".  They had not originally packed it, but when I saw his toys I asked about it.  They introduced me to a brand new toy they had gotten him and said just let him smell it and he will calm down.  Well, I certainly did not want to appear pushy to these gracious women, but something told me, and I asked, "were is his special occasion ball?"  They said, "we left it with another dog, do you want us to go get it?"  At first I politely said, "no, that's fine.", but something told me.  I said, "you know what, maybe you should get the ball, I am a little worried about the drive home."  Well, whatever that was that kept telling me, I will forever owe them a fist full of gratitude.  The drive was only about thirty minutes long, but we didn't make it out of the parking lot.  I heard the most horrible racket, as if try to tear the travel cage apart, while screaming at the top of his lungs.  I pulled into another parking spot and tossed the "special occasion ball" in the cage.  I never heard another sound, except for the constant slurping of him chewing on a beautiful thing earlier referred to as his "special occasion ball".  I thought, this is now his car riding ball.

When I arrived home, I put all of my other dogs into separate rooms.  The family room and the kitchen were vacant.  Not a sight I had seen very many times.  I walked him in quite easily, but he balked as soon as I got him through the front door.  He began to spin and yowl.  I would touch him or if it got too out of control, I would pick him up.  He would stop.  So far, I thought, those drives to Lockhart for training were paying off.  I had this thing under control.  What I didn't know at that moment and it was just as well that I did not know.  For had I known what the next three days would be like, I would have taken that howling dog, and his "special occasion ball", right back to Lockhart.  The ladies at Paws in Prison would have had their cell mate back by dinner time.  We get information as we need it, and at that time  I did not need that information.

When I introduced my dogs, they were smelling and Drake was dodging.  He paid no attention to them, except for an occassional snarl.  He would just walk  away and spin out howling.  I didn't get home from Lockhart until almost 3:00 PM. They had said he would go to bed at 8:00 PM, like clock work.  So for the next five hours we replayed the original entrance drama.  He did sort began to wind down as the hours passed.  Much to my surprise, I put him in his little crate at 8:00PM and snoring. 

As soon as he was asleep, I fired up my laptop for researching.  I just knew this could not be right.  What had happened to the calm, sweet, smart puppy that I had told the girls should be named Einstein?  I thought I was doing everything like they had shown me.  What had gone so terribly wrong.  As the night turned into morning, I read the very limited information about blind or deaf dogs.  I saw that nothing really applied to Drake, because all of the solutions only fitted dogs with only one impairment.  Drake had the two obvious ones, plus a whole lot of emotional issues that I would have to research.  I had listened to every word the girls had told me about Drake.  However, as is most often the case, we hear what we want to hear, not what they are saying.  I was in deep and really scared.

 

So he's in the house.........

September 13, 2012
After a few hours sleep, I felt hopeful again.  Yesterday had not been so bad, I told myself.  The day started off a little calmer.  I talked to Machelle at Paws, fibbed a little about how bad it was.  Tried to believe my own lies and took Drake out the front door and for his first walk.  He was great on leash and was very happy while walking.  I took him out to the back yard, he smelled the donkey.  Stopped, kind of barked, cute.  He walked a little bit farther around the yard, smelled the pig, barked a little again, still cute.  He loved walking around out there.  He was ignoring the dogs, they would all take a quick smell and run.  They seemed to know something was different, and was a little cautious.  We walked for awhile and then he smelled the chickens.  Spinning, pawing at the ground, barking.  I had to literally drag him away from their pen.  They spent most of the day free ranging the yard for bugs, but was still in their night pen.  He for sure was going to kill my chickens, blind dog or not.  He was.

Okay, I thought, so far, so good.  The first couple of hours had not been that bad.  What, just 9:00 AM.  Only 11 more hours to go.  For the sake of argument, lets say the second day was a little bit better than the first.  Not by much however.  He mapped my bedroom and bath a lot more calmly than the downstairs.  When I say more calmly, I mean he would go ten minutes without becoming upset.  I began to breakdown.  I should not have spent so much time on the computer the night before, I was tired.  I no longer felt like he was getting any better.  I was disturbing my entire family of canines, I had no time left for any of my other pets.  Kind of in a panic, looking for away out, but not knowing what to say.  Machelle from Paws had called everyday and I tried to keep my spirits up when I talked to her.  She had put so much into this dog.  I felt that I was inadequate, and was going to have him relapse after all their work.  I couldn't sleep that night, what was I thinking to even attempt such an endeavor.  How did two decades of working with shelters and fostering dogs in anyway prepare me for such a challenge.  Who was I? Just an ordinary person.  So I watched The Dog Whisperer, and Animal Planet, I was not a dog trainer.

So he's in the bed.........

September 14, 2012
Machelle called early on this morning.  She said that she had heard it in my voice the day before.  I admitted more to her that day than I had ever dared before.  Her call was uplifting and I needed that.  However, nothing had changed.  Again, I would feel like he was improving, a little.  Then i would slap myself back into reality about what was really going on.  I had begun to let him sleep in my bed after the first night.  Cristi and Shelly from Paws had suggested before I brought him home.  They felt it would help with the bonding.  This day I kept him in my room and bath area only.  I felt he needed a smaller area to focus on, instead of all the areas that he would live in.  Took him out the front door for his daily walks and into the back yard through the gate.  Kept him completely out of the other areas of the house.  As the sun sat, I felt fairly comfortable that he would sleep all night, so I took a sleeping pill.  I needed rest.  I did not know how long I could continue to just stay close, and correct him every few minutes.  I am guessing due to his long slumber a night, he really was not much of a napper.  That would make the day go on forever.  I could not wait for 8:00 PM to come.  Night, night world.  I will think about Drake tomorrow.